The Cone of Shame

Today I’m thankful for traffic cones.

My employer moved locations.  They’re leasing the building we currently occupy.  There aren’t enough parking spots for every employee so a number of people come in early trying to beat the rush.

I did the same one day.  While pulling in I saw a traffic cone blocking the empty spot nearest the disabled (badge) slots.  Our landlord’s name was stenciled on the cone.  As I removed my key from the ignition a large white luxury car pulled up next to the blocked spot.  I recognized the driver as she got out of her car.  It was the landlord’s administrative staffer.  She saw me watching, smiled, grabbed the cone and put it in her car, and pulled into the best unsigned spot in the lot.

I told my colleagues, who promptly suggested we each make our own cones to “officially” claim good spots.  We haven’t done so, but I also have yet to see the original cone make a repeat performance.  If I had I think the rest of the lot would suddenly sprout matching orange “fruit.”

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For Love Of A “Sport” Sedan

Today I’m thankful for my car.

I abhor road trips.  I really can’t drive more than six hours at a time.  I get stiff and my knee locks up.  I drive fast to get them over and done with.  Honestly, probably too fast.

My car is old, but it still runs pretty well and it goes fast.  On a trip I settle in, get up to traffic flow speed, and hope that the short in the electrical system won’t make the dash lights flicker more than usual.  I’d wager that my car has a history.  I’ve had other vehicles with personality – one blew carbon monoxide back into the cabin and the wipers engaged when I turned left.  It was a shaking death trap.  My mother actually apologize for making me drive it.  My current car gets me where I want to go quickly and in relative comfort.

Driving At Least The Speed Limit

Today I’m thankful for out-of-town drivers.

Learning the layout of a new place takes me a while.  I navigate about as well as a concussed hamster.  I try not to be the driver going below the speed limit and looking around so I don’t miss my turning.  I pull into a lot and reconnoiter.

I was stuck behind one of them today.  I couldn’t pass as a bus was approaching in the opposite direction.  I reminded myself that they were probably injecting money into the local economy and satisfied myself with muttering under my breath.

We’ve all been that driver at some point in a new town.  Extend the patience you wish someone’d shown you, then rant when you get home.  It’s less distracting when you’re not driving.